How To Tell If Your Neighbor Lady Is A Witch
You casually mention the moon's phase, and she knows the exact number of days, hours, and minutes until the next full moon.
All the stray cats in the neighborhood congregate in her garden.
A black crow has chosen the lamppost outside her house as it's favorite perch.
She doesn't weed her garden or lawn. In fact, it seems as if she is nurturing the weeds.
Her clothesline has only black clothes on it.
Local kids whisper as they pass her house, and run away if they spot movement in the house or yard.
Nobody trick-or-treats at her house because her costumes are always scarier than any of the children's.
There are footprints on the roof.
The trees near her house look as if they've been pruned for a flight-path.
She can't make a sandwich without adding fresh herbs to it.
The tea she offers you is yellow-colored and smells like flowers.
She never gets junk mail and when you ask her why, and she confides that she just returns it to sender after writing something on it in strange curly script.
When you drop in for a chat, the coffee pot or tea kettle is already starting to perk.
Jehovah's Witnesses never knock on her door.
She keeps the local candle shop solvent.
She has a pond out back full of frogs and you haven't seen that obnoxious storm-window salesman in a while.
She is always smiling peacefully to herself.
She went to a Halloween costume party dressed normally, and won first prize.
Her house always smells like incense and herbs.
She has black cats with strange sounding names.
She has a bumper-sticker on her car that reads, "I brake for toads".
She frequently gets questioned by the narcotics cops, who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves and always return them with apologies after laboratory analysis.
At Christmas, it seems like half the garden is moved into the house.
On full moon nights, you hear the sounds of chanting and the tinkling of small bells.
You discover that the "realistic plastic" skull she affectionately calls "Christopher" in the living room is real. Didn't she say her most recent ex-lover's name was Christopher?
You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.
She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when she is weeding or changing the oil in the car.
You knock on the door and she answers it wearing only a black robe. You apologize for interrupting her shower, but you notice her hair isn't wet.
She has a tendency to hum or chant quietly, especially while outside in the garden.
She has a tame raven that will eat from her hand in the garden.
She never catches a cold, despite a tendency to walk around barefoot often...even in the snow.
She dooesn't kill spiders...not even the huge hairy ones.
She has a lot of female friends that come around once or twice a month. When you ask what they're up to, she tells you they just have cake and ale and a nice chat.
You catch her kissing a toad.
She owns a custom made dinner set decorated with bats or a "stars and moons" design.
She has a mail-order account with a semi-precious gems wholesaler.
The priest who lives around the corner always crosses himself when driving past her house.
She never watches television...but owns shelves full of books with black spines and silver lettering.
To your knowledge she has never set foot in the local church. You've even heard rumors that she's been barred from it.
You ask to borrow a deck of cards for an impromptu evening of pinochle, and there are 78 in the pack.
You've never known her to go to a physician.
When you chat, she maintains eye contact the whole time.
Expectant mothers are always visiting.
Women become expectant mothers a short time after visiting and leaving with bags full of herbs.
You ask for suggestions of nice paths to walk in the area, and they all go by strange earth mounds, oak groves, and stone circles.
There aren't any clocks in the house and most of the mirrors are black.
She has a stone gargoyle near the garden gate and she calls it her "guardian spirit".
She tells you she's coming out of the broom closet, and installs a stained-glass pentagram window in the front door
~~~Author Unknown
You casually mention the moon's phase, and she knows the exact number of days, hours, and minutes until the next full moon.
All the stray cats in the neighborhood congregate in her garden.
A black crow has chosen the lamppost outside her house as it's favorite perch.
She doesn't weed her garden or lawn. In fact, it seems as if she is nurturing the weeds.
Her clothesline has only black clothes on it.
Local kids whisper as they pass her house, and run away if they spot movement in the house or yard.
Nobody trick-or-treats at her house because her costumes are always scarier than any of the children's.
There are footprints on the roof.
The trees near her house look as if they've been pruned for a flight-path.
She can't make a sandwich without adding fresh herbs to it.
The tea she offers you is yellow-colored and smells like flowers.
She never gets junk mail and when you ask her why, and she confides that she just returns it to sender after writing something on it in strange curly script.
When you drop in for a chat, the coffee pot or tea kettle is already starting to perk.
Jehovah's Witnesses never knock on her door.
She keeps the local candle shop solvent.
She has a pond out back full of frogs and you haven't seen that obnoxious storm-window salesman in a while.
She is always smiling peacefully to herself.
She went to a Halloween costume party dressed normally, and won first prize.
Her house always smells like incense and herbs.
She has black cats with strange sounding names.
She has a bumper-sticker on her car that reads, "I brake for toads".
She frequently gets questioned by the narcotics cops, who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves and always return them with apologies after laboratory analysis.
At Christmas, it seems like half the garden is moved into the house.
On full moon nights, you hear the sounds of chanting and the tinkling of small bells.
You discover that the "realistic plastic" skull she affectionately calls "Christopher" in the living room is real. Didn't she say her most recent ex-lover's name was Christopher?
You catch her washing a crystal ball along with the dishes.
She wears a lot of silver jewelry, even when she is weeding or changing the oil in the car.
You knock on the door and she answers it wearing only a black robe. You apologize for interrupting her shower, but you notice her hair isn't wet.
She has a tendency to hum or chant quietly, especially while outside in the garden.
She has a tame raven that will eat from her hand in the garden.
She never catches a cold, despite a tendency to walk around barefoot often...even in the snow.
She dooesn't kill spiders...not even the huge hairy ones.
She has a lot of female friends that come around once or twice a month. When you ask what they're up to, she tells you they just have cake and ale and a nice chat.
You catch her kissing a toad.
She owns a custom made dinner set decorated with bats or a "stars and moons" design.
She has a mail-order account with a semi-precious gems wholesaler.
The priest who lives around the corner always crosses himself when driving past her house.
She never watches television...but owns shelves full of books with black spines and silver lettering.
To your knowledge she has never set foot in the local church. You've even heard rumors that she's been barred from it.
You ask to borrow a deck of cards for an impromptu evening of pinochle, and there are 78 in the pack.
You've never known her to go to a physician.
When you chat, she maintains eye contact the whole time.
Expectant mothers are always visiting.
Women become expectant mothers a short time after visiting and leaving with bags full of herbs.
You ask for suggestions of nice paths to walk in the area, and they all go by strange earth mounds, oak groves, and stone circles.
There aren't any clocks in the house and most of the mirrors are black.
She has a stone gargoyle near the garden gate and she calls it her "guardian spirit".
She tells you she's coming out of the broom closet, and installs a stained-glass pentagram window in the front door
~~~Author Unknown
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